I am, by nature, a negative person. Parenting has taught me to be more positive: I've seen how a strong negative reaction from me can turn a mother-daughter discussion into shouting match that ends with my daughter squeezed under her bed, simultaneously crying and saying mean things about me to herself (loudly enough for me to hear).There's no room for negativity in the classroom. My worst days this year have been the ones when I've found it nearly impossible to notice anything that's going well.
My remedy: beans in my pocket. Every morning now I put 10
beans in my left pocket. Each time I give a student a compliment, I move a bean to my right pocket. I've been doing this for two days. I hope to get better at it. Today at lunchtime, I still had nine beans in my left pocket. By the end of the day, three beans remained. Sad, sad, sad.
I have many beans to go before I become the kind of teacher I want to be, the kind who can look away from one seriously annoying student's antics and find those students who are doing things right, or who are doing better than they did yesterday -- or whose new bangs look really nice.
It goes without saying that I am loving your "new teacher" blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's very true that teaching is an exercise in learning how to project "calm", when inside your head, there's often a huge rant going on. I find I am constantly playing some sort of mental game in which I keep reminding myself to put things in perspective. Remember that growth is what I'm after, not perfection.
Occasionally I allow myself the "we need to talk, help me out" chat. It doesn't usually get the desired result, but it helps me express a bit of the frustration.
Often my frustration is directed more at me than at the kids. I almost always feel that I'm doing something wrong. I'm not planned enough. Not engaging enough. Not something.
This year I happen to have a perfectly nice boy who is a constant talker. He understands it's a problem he has, he knows he's being rude when he tries to carry on conversations while I'm talking, but nothing changes. I am constantly attempting to improve my attitude towards this one particular boy. I might have to employ your bean strategy just for this one child so that I can turn, once and for all, my negative spin in a positive direction. (BTW - he was absent on Friday, and it was heaven. I had to bite my tongue not to keep from saying hallelujah out loud when filling in the attendance!)
Rant-in-head is right! On really crazy days, I try to pretend my students are products of some sort of terrible civil war, and they have just arrived on civilized soil, and that's why they are acting this way, and so I must be patient and kind, no matter what. It works for at least one class period.
ReplyDeleteSelf-blame: Maybe it's a fairly common female (or sensitive-person) reaction, blaming oneself deep down for another's missteps -- we're not planned or engaging enough, not patient enough (that's mine). I know it's a common "mom" reaction.
I am laughing about your absent talker. Boy, do I relate.